


Candlelight

by MatchaMochi



Series: Lance Dish Time [4]
Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Alpha!Pidge, Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Alternate Universe - Army, F/M, Fluffs and Angst, Gender Roles, Hints of Mates, Misogyny, Omega!Lance, Scenting, warnings for misogynistic talk
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-27
Updated: 2020-03-27
Packaged: 2021-03-01 03:15:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,668
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23344573
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MatchaMochi/pseuds/MatchaMochi
Summary: She joins the army as ‘Pidge Gunderson’, and it’s easy. Once they see you as a straight white male alpha they don’t give you a second glance before they’re calling in for the next person.///(In which she's not the only one with secrets.)
Relationships: Lance/Pidge | Katie Holt
Series: Lance Dish Time [4]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1675384
Comments: 8
Kudos: 102





	Candlelight

**Author's Note:**

> Plance this time! gonna continue this after the weekends.... ;)

She hates being driven by instinct. You don’t guess an answer, you _think_ about it. Everything would have turned out so much better if it was rationalized first. She’s spent her whole life breaking rules every one followed just because it’s the norm, hated the way people would frown at her pants and short hair. How they’ll send suitors for her but when she says no they say she’s _ungrateful._

She’s an alpha but it doesn’t matter in the end anyway, girls shouldn’t say no, they shouldn’t talk too loud, or talk back at anyone, or talk at all, about things that don’t concern them. It’s so tiring to be ‘Katie’ in that house, exhausting when all the books she ever wanted to read isn’t allowed, when she analyses the stars and everyone thinks she’s just crazy.

That’s only one of the little reasons she did this. What made her decide, finally, was the haunted look in her father's eyes, the way her brother would smile at her but she can see his hand tremble, slightly.

They’re sent to the army and she follows days after, determined with the thought that she’ll bring them both back, even if it kills her.

She cuts her hair to her ears, takes the chunkiest glasses she could find, makes herself a binder for her chest. She practices moving like a boy in their adolescents, down to the way she checks her nails to the way her voice would break, faking it as puberty.

She joins the army as ‘Pidge Gunderson’, and it’s easy. Once they see you as a straight white male alpha they don’t give you a second glance before they’re calling in for the next person.

Pidge doesn’t regret any of it at all, even after she meets Lance McClain.

-

-

She doesn’t really expect to make any friends, the fewer people talking to her the less they’ll suspect. But Hunk Garrett wiggles his way in her personal space after she helped him with his drills and he brings Lance in tow with him too. The others call them the three bears after that, with her being the shortest but the alpha with two betas. She glares at everyone who does but Lance would only laugh at them in reply.

And she thinks its something precious, how in between the rain, blood, smoke, and fire she has them; talking about ridiculous things, making her laugh with their dumb jokes, supporting her whenever she feels her muscles reaching the peak of exhaustion, her bones weighting so much she doesn’t know if she can get back up, her breathing coming out shallow. But they pull her up each time, and it becomes more familiar, Hunks broad back, the crinkle of Lances eyes when he smiles at her.

His slender hands, brushing some of her hair out of the way, bandaging her wound with practised care. She finds herself dreaming about the stray dust motes that would float down his hair, right after a ringing explosion.

It’s fine, she knows where her father and brother are. She spies them sometimes outside of her quarters and is relieved that they seem to be fine for now.

She’s changed too, somehow. She has more muscles for one, and she’s been more….calm? Satisfied? Pidge doesn’t know what to call it and it feels like she’s lying to herself but everything seems much better when she feels like what she’s doing is normal. No one looks twice at her because she’s a boy, no one would have stood for it if she wasn’t.

It grates on her sometimes though, when someone makes an offhand comment about ‘how much she wants it-’ or how they joke about fucking any woman even when they have wives at home. She always leaves, fist clenched, mouth in a thin line when they start talking about finding a good omega _whore._

She stands in the rain for a while, staring at the muddy soil on her boots. She’s breathing heavily, head ringing so loud she flinches when someone pats her shoulder.

It’s only Lance though, and he gives her a soft smile.

“I stole some chocolates from the captain's office,” he grins, “Want some?”

She nods, lets him tug her to their beds.

-

-

She finds out about it after a stray shrapnel hits Lance at his thigh. She really doesn’t know how she could’ve missed it really. But the night after Hunk and her had carried him to the medbay, after Hunk had slinked off to see if they can get more soup for Lance, he moans out in pain and clutches her arm in a tight grip.

Pidge frowns, “Lance? Hey, you-” he still has his eyes closed, clenched in pain. They’ve run out on painkillers so the ones he had swallowed wasn’t nearly enough. She takes her arm gently, smoothing down the dirt away, “You awake? Hunk’s just gonna get some food for you-”

She’s interrupted when he tugs her harder, hands scrambling up until he has her collar, straight up pulled her until he has his face shoved at her neck, “Lance! _What-_ ”

He’s- He’s sniffing her? But no, it’s more like he’s inhaling, taking deep breaths, like her neck is a drug he can't get enough of. He’s whining, grip on her arm letting go but then tightening again, like he couldn’t decide if he wants to let go or not. And that’s when it hits her, the smell making her gasp, sickly sweet and _hot_ , like lemons on a summer day. She covers her face from it, staring at Lance in shock as he moans again, trying to reach for her hand.

_Fuck._

He’s an omega, and he’s in heat. And he _really_ shouldn’t be here right now. Or at all.

Lance gasps again, but this time his eyes flutter open. He must’ve pieced it all together when he sees Pidge’s expression because he grits his teeth and he tells her, trying not to choke from the pain,

“I have- _Fuck!_ God _fucking-_ I have p-pills in the box, under my bed. There’s a picture of my family at the front,” She stares at him, frozen, shaking her head, “Pidge _please,_ ”

She dashes off to his bed, and prays that she wasn’t too late, or that no one else would come by and check on Lance.

-

He takes the pills right before Hunk comes in with the soup. After they’ve made sure Lance was comfortable, they get to their beds again to catch some sleep before they have to wake up early tomorrow.

Pidge pauses for a moment though, after Hunk had already left. She squeezes Lance hand in his and tells him that it’ll be alright.

-

-

It feels freeing, but also nerve-wracking when she sidles up to him one night, silence enveloping them except for Hunks snores and the distant sounds of fire and shouting from outside. She says,

“I’m a girl.” And also, “Came here because I didn’t want to wait and see if my father and brother would die fighting for this stupid war.”

Lance is frozen beside her, then he exhales and looks at her, eyes widening, “ _Really?_ ” he laughs quietly, shakes his head, “I’d never guessed it, no wonder you always wear your collar up until your chin.”

“I don’t _always_ do that. And you’d never guessed it because you’re a _fool-_ ”

“Hey!”

She smirks at him, punches his shoulder lightly.

“What I’m trying to _say,_ Lance is that- Well, I get it. Kind of. I won’t tell anyone. Your secrets safe with me.”

Lance must have been holding his breath because he chokes out a, “ _Oh thank god,_ ” followed by a tight hug that made her gasp in surprise as he holds on to her tighter.

“Thank you, thank you, fuck I was so worried-”

She hesitates before reluctantly hugging him back, arms over his thin frame. His hearts beating so loudly she could hear it beside her ears. His sweet scent covers her like a soft blanket.

-

This is what he tells her later, eyes bright, holding her hands tight in his,

“My father hasn’t come back and my brother is the only one with a stable job that could support our family. I must’ve been feeling particularly stupid because I left thinking he’d have one mouth less to feed if I wasn’t there. There was this really nice old lady down our tiny apartment who makes medicines, she says she could send me scent blockers and heat suppressants if I was serious about this.”

Pidge frowns, “I can still smell you though.”

Lance pauses, looks at her curiously, eyebrows raised, “I know. You’re the only one who can.”

-

-

It’s in the chaos of everything that they find calmer waters in each other. Lance would poke at her just to see her puff up with irritation, would make her laugh in exasperation or surprise when he does something ridiculous. He’d shut down any conversations outright when they’re with the other men, even when they call him _sensitive_ after.

Pidge has gotten used to his scent by then, was doubtful at first by the fact that no one else could sense it but when nothing happens she shrugs it off to the side to think about later. (She has a theory though.) She realises that Lance and her finds reassurance in the little touches they share, maybe it’s the omega-alpha reaction but another part of her wants it to be something else.

It doesn’t change the fact that it helps him calm down though, so sometimes she shoves his face under her chin when he hyperventilates, when he’s too panicked to listen to anyone, when everything’s just _too much_ and he doesn’t know what to do. She’ll shush him and stroke circles at his back and he’ll whimper and whine but it’s worth it because they’ll look at each other after and she’ll feel this overwhelming urge to protect him for everything and anyone.

Makes her think that maybe, his skin is way too soft for him to be out like this, think that his eyes shine brightly in the firelight, a different kind of blue.

Makes her think that she’s way in over her head.

-

-

She’s not the only one though.

It’s the flickering lights by the candles on the table, the loud cacophony of celebration outside the bar, the smell of stale beer drifting through the wooden walls, the heat of Lance's mouth as he stutters in a gasp when Pidge kisses him in a dark corner of the building.

Lance is stiff as a board, he’s staring at Pidge in shock and she snatches her hands away from where they were clutching Lances collar like it burns. She thought, well, that’s the thing, wasn’t it? She only thought.

“I’m sorry Lance, I didn’t know what came over me. I was- I just-”

But he grabs her hand back and he pushes his mouth up to her face and she laughs because it’s apparent now that Lance doesn’t really know how to kiss properly. She slings an arm over his shoulder, cups his right cheek, and shows him how.

-

-

By now, she’s positive that Hunk knows about them but the one time he sees a hickey at Lance's neck he just throws a scarf at him and winked at Pidge. She’s red throughout the first morning drill, shouts at anyone who’s slacking off to hide her embarrassment.

They sneak kisses behind trees, exchanged secrets in between bedsheets. She tells him, ‘ _When this is over, come meet my mother, she’d love you._ ’

And Lance would blush but he’ll give a small peck on her cheek and say, ‘ _When this is all over, look for my voice in the wind, because I’ll always be with you._ ’

Lance is a romantic at heart, but he still knows the reality of their situation. No one knows if either of them would still be here when this war is finished. Pidge holds in her snort, and burrows her head further at his shoulder, his sweet scent addicting. Lance whispers a lullaby into their pillow, his fingers trailing down her arm.

-

-

Lance is bleeding from his stomach, dark, dark, red forming a puddle under his feet. He's choking, gasping, telling her to _run_ but no, no, she can’t just leave him. Didn’t she make a promise to herself before she joined the army? She’ll bring back everyone in one piece or she’ll _die_ trying.

She hisses at him to _shut up_ and tells him to bite the cloth she shoves at his mouth because staunching the flow is going to hurt like the seven hells. He screams into her shoulder but it doesn’t matter they don’t have time. This isn’t going to be the last bomb they’ll have to run from.

She grits her teeth, yells and pulls Lance over her shoulder in a fireman carry. Pidge runs and runs until she’s sure she dislocated one of her shoulders. She accidentally bites her tongue when she gasps from the pain. Tastes blood but she can feel her camo getting wet from Lance's blood and she just- she _can’t-_

She blacks out right before another bomb hits them.

-

-

Pidge wakes up in a hospital with her father sleeping on one of the chairs. Her brother comes in just as she’s trying to reach for her glasses at the bedside table. He drops his coffee with a cry and rushes to her, hugging her and saying, “Katie, _Katie-_ ”

Katie.

“Oh.” She mumbles, dazed.

She’s back.

-

-

They tell her that it’s over. They’ve won, she was just out for most of the winning part. Her brother saw Pidge Gunderson in the battlefield and he almost had a heart attack when he recognized it as his sister. She remembers….throwing grenades to distract the enemy soldiers from going so near her fathers base, running off from her brothers unit so they’ll have time….running with _Lance._

She gasps. Scrambles off the bed and it’s a struggle but her limbs are still sluggish so her brother puts her back to bed easily enough. She mumbles his name again and again in her sleep, wishing she could smell that sweet scent again, making her feel safe.

-

-

Her brother is awarded a medal of honour, Pidge comes back home and she gets a severe scolding from her mother. It’s hard to sleep at all that first night. Her nightgown is comfortable but feels too breezy, her bed is soft as feathers, but she feels like it’ll swallow her whole.

She shoves her window open and stares at the night sky. Tries not to cry. Fails.

-

-

A few months pass by. She tries to ask about Lance from her brother but he has no answer. Many of them were already sent home, he doesn’t know if all of them made it. She counts the scars on her skin every day, remembers the soft kisses every night. She passes by the new bar that just opened near their house. Hums absentmindedly in reply when her brother asks her if she wanted to join him for a drink.

The candles were bright that night. Whatever they were cooking must be very delicious, that sweet scent wafting through almost seemed familiar to her.

There’s a band in front of the bar performing, she’s staring at the ceiling when the next singer is called. She closes her eyes and she lets the melody take her inside a dream where nothing hurts and all she cares about was with her.

They call another singer to the stage. And she freezes, brings her glass down carefully on the table, her hands trembling. After the song finishes, she excuses herself to go to the ladies room.

She sprints behind the building and her heart is thundering, blood roaring in her ears. She sees him below the firelight, eyes shining. He smiles softly, extends his hand to her,

“You found me.”

She takes it and she never lets go.

- _fin-_

**Author's Note:**

> yeah ok, theyre cute XD <3
> 
> Thnks for reading!
> 
> I have a [twitter](https://twitter.com/crazydurians)! and check out my other [fics](https://archiveofourown.org/users/MatchaMochi/works) too! 
> 
> Comments and kudos are highly appreciated!


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